There I was. Lying on my bed… watching netflix. Determined not to look at the tv or turn on social media because watching the votes come in would send me into a frenzied state of anxiety. But i couldn’t resist texting my friends every once in a while for updates. And finally, our greatest fear came to pass. Donald Trump was elected President of the United States. The entire world was in silent shock. I was in disbelief, immovable. I didn’t cry or scream or curse the tv out in protest, all I could do was lay there. I felt like a deflated balloon, there was no air left in me. Sleeping was the only option I had, so that’s what I did.
The next day I went to work. I was a zombie —functioning but not present, walking with a cloud overhead. Some of my co-workers felt the same, they were also sleep walking, a few even cried. Nothing made sense. How could the same country that voted for Obama — twice— vote for Trump? Their campaigns were completely different, one rallied support with love while the other rallied support using fear. I was dumbfounded
I wasn’t under the illusion that racism, bigotry, stupidity, and misogyny was a thing of the past, I knew how very alive it was/is, and that there would be plenty of people who would rally behind Trump. I knew that there were people who were too engrossed in their own interests to be swayed by common sense and would, therefore, support someone whom they really didn’t care for, but whom they knew would protect their interests. I knew, understood, and respected that there were people out there whose opinions may conflict with mine. However, I thought we had progressed much further than to allow this man — someone who has no real plan of action, no experience in politics, and is extremely under qualified and hot-headed to govern a nation such as ours — into the oval office. Despite the friction and disagreements amongst citizens, I figured this would be a no-brainer. I was wrong.
That day I felt the weight of the nation’s disappointment, I felt the fear and the restlessness of not knowing what the future would hold. I don’t even think Trump supporters were that thrilled, nor could they honestly attest to feeling as though our country was now in the best of hands. No matter what side you were on: democrat or republican, Hillary or Trump, I don’t think anyone genuinely believed that Hillary would lose.
People tried to ease their dismay by saying that most of what Trump proclaimed during his campaign was just hot air that could never come to fruition. But, thanks to social media, Trump never shied away from exposing himself and continuing to spout his ignorance and arrogance.
January 20th is days away and it’s hard to mentally accept that Trump will be sworn in as our next president. I am terribly sad to see Obama leave after doing such a great job and always remaining calm, composed, and classy even while addressing his critics. He stayed steady and focused. I’m going to miss him and Michelle and all that they stood for, which was the unity of our nation and an acknowledgement that at the end of the day we all want the same things: health, happiness, safety, equality, financial stability, and the freedom to live our lives as we see fit.
I realize that I may never see another black president in my life time, and I highly doubt I will see a woman as leader of our country. There will definitely never be another President Barack Obama. I know that what I witnessed 8 years ago was nothing short of divine destiny. I’m not saying Obama was perfect because none of us are, however, I don’t doubt the workings of a higher power on his behalf. How else could you explain a black man becoming the leader of the free world?
I’m just trying to soak up these last few days, and I decided that I will not be watching the inauguration. Watching it will only solidify a nightmare that I have been trying to fight off, it will become real then. Although I will not be tuning in, I, along with the rest of the nation, and the world for that matter, will be paying close attention to what is happening in Washington D.C. The nation is prepared to call Donald out on his inevitable bullshit and to express their opposition. It can be scary not knowing what the future holds, but I feel as though people will pay more attention to politics now. Unfortunately, people don’t pay attention or take action until their personal interests are being threatened. And now that so many people feel as though their personal interests and rights are in jeopardy, perhaps we will grow more unified as a nation.
In the end, I hope that Trump’s attempt to use hatred as a divisive tool, will outrage all of us enough to band together and defend the progress we have made as a nation. It would be incredibly disheartening to take steps backwards after all the pain and hard work it took to move us forward.