I was recently given an article to read by a good guy friend of mine. This article was highlighting a twitter thread that a young gentlemen put out about men and relationships. His thread was intended to “clarify” some things for women, to help explain the peculiar actions of men. Specifically, to provide them with the truth as to why some men go “ghost” and fade away after showing interest in a woman.

I read this thread, and the gentlemen did provide some truth — HIS truth. Some will be able to relate to this truth, others will not, and I would never discredit someone else’s experience. However, I felt his theory had some holes in it, and therefore did not provide the full scope. My friend felt as though this writer’s thoughts reflected most men, but it clearly did not. I even shared this thread to guy friends who felt as I did and who offered their objections.

The content of this thread is not as important to me. What is important is how this man’s thread is possibly being shared amongst women and being taken as truth or as this hidden gem of knowledge that all women should know. My concern is not for the article, people have the right to share their thoughts and opinions. My concern is for those out there who have yet to learn how to think for themselves, and will regurgitate theories and ideas without analyzing whether or not these ideas and theories actually apply to them. Especially in regards to relationships, some women long for answers and want to understand the nature of men, hoping that this insight will allow them to navigate with much more clarity amongst the male species. So they cling to these “gems of wisdom” and pass these ideas along to their girlfriends only resulting in more confusion, poor interpretation, and inevitable mis-understanding, which leads to misguided action. Here’s some insight for those women: If a man really likes you and wants and is ready to date you, he will enthusiastically and consistently pursue you. If he does not like you, then he won’t. Simple. Don’t stress over it. Keep Stepping.

There are other theories and catch phrases too, such as the “middle child syndrome”, “daddy issues”, “children in single-parent homes will undoubtedly face emotional and psychological struggles/instability”, etc. Who coined these terms and ideas? And more importantly, why do we take these theories and offer them up as facts?? They are opinions, based on personal experience —that’s it — and there is nothing wrong with that. (Some will argue the statistical data that proves their theory, but even the acquisition of data should be questioned). But their experience does not reflect everyone else’s and should not be readily generalized. If it applies to you then great, if not, then that’s fine too.

All I ask is that people take the time to process what they read and hear — including this blog — before fully jumping onto a particular bandwagon. Think first. The ability to think for one’s self is one of the best tools we have at our disposal, and it’s disheartening to know that so many people abandon this God-given muscle and permit others to do the heavy lifting for them.

Don’t be lazy, utilize your mental muscle and put in some cognitive work. It’s not necessary to always follow the pack. Dare to think outside of the mass mind and go in a different direction. Going against the grain and raising an objection isn’t always easy and can be intimidating considering the collective agreement surrounding a particular topic, but going against the grain keeps us sharp and forces us to grow as a whole. So raise our awareness and challenge us to grow…think for yourself.