Well it’s that time of the year where I’m starting to see my friends post their engagements on social media. And I’m also starting to see my single friends salivate over these images and what they assume to be a wonderful love story that they desperately want to happen to them. Their feelings are normal and completely understandable. I, too, want companionship; I also want to find “the one”. But I have to remind my friends and myself that what you see reflected off of a social media page does not always provide the full scope of anyone’s romantic relationship. You sincerely hope that people are in love and you wish them well, but you don’t know the details of anyone’s relationship. You don’t know what is taking place behind the scenes and whether or not you could deal with certain circumstances. Now my intention is not to sound bleak, dispiriting, or ominous. My intention is not to have you looking at couple photos with the mindset that something is wrong their relationship…not at all. The intention focuses more on getting you to stop and think before you compare your situation to someone else’s. Remember that your love story will happen in it’s own time, and that you too will be in the coveted position of posting couple photos that will annoy your Facebook friends.
So until then- and this is primarily for my ladies – DO NOT GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP FOR THE SAKE OF BEING IN ONE. It blows my mind and breaks my heart how women settle for and go back to these sorry ass dudes all because they don’t want to be without SOMEBODY. These women will endure emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. They will lower their standards, shrink themselves. Some will allow their boyfriend to shadow them from their self-worth to the point where they know longer see themselves. They become lost in his shadow and are kept from their own light, thinking they are in love, but they are desperately trying to soothe a broken image of themselves.
And why is that, in 2016, women still find themselves in these positions? Is it because having a “man” is something that is still considered highly valuable, and we are conditioned and pressured to have a “man” as a way of increasing our own value? I just don’t understand.
Women YOU ARE THE PRIZE! Don’t settle for just any ole body who does not recognize that you are amazing. Do not fight over, social media stalk, or stress over these boys…leave them alone! Bid them Adieu! And make space for someone better to enter your life. Don’t allow these engagement photos to seduce you into entering into something that has the potential to leave you extremely disappointed.
It is better to be single and at peace surrounded by friends and family who truly love and celebrate you, than to be in a relationship that chips away at your self-esteem and happiness and leaves you disconnected from yourself.
Give it time ladies, it will happen. For now enjoy the opportunity you have to be completely selfish and finally learn how to love yourself. If you haven’t figured out how to love yourself you run the risk of being lenient with your heart and placing it in shaky hands. So stop the madness. Disconnect from our virtual world for a while and come back to yourself. Remember that your Love will blossom at the appropriate season. Don’t rush the process, allow it to unfold naturally.