Once upon a time I had a breakdown. A full blown… ugly crying…snot drizzling… can’t catch my breath breakdown. I felt myself becoming undone and quickly disintegrating into pieces. Like so many others, I was in the midst of dealing with the inevitable issues and obstacles that come as a result of simply living, and I felt as though I had no more fight left in me, I had come to the end of my rope. I felt lost, doubtful, and scared. Fortunately, my brother arrived just in time to catch me, hold me, and piece me back together. I felt so blessed just to have someone with me.
There are times when we feel we are navigating through this crazy world alone. But it’s moments like that, when you feel you are on the brink of self-destruction that you realize you are, in fact, not alone. And you experience the pleasant surprise and/or relief of someone being there to catch you just before you smash into the ground, and then assist you in re-planting your feet. But you have to be willing to let someone in. You have to be willing to voice your pain, worry, and doubt. But it’s so hard for people to do – it’s so hard for ME to do. But why is that??
I suppose the idea of being too open, too vulnerable is extremely uncomfortable for some people. The idea of showcasing any areas of “weakness” can damage the self-image we have created and have promoted to the world, and can reveal, instead, the truth of our imperfection. Perhaps it’s our pride that stops us from receiving the upliftment we need. It’s not easy to admit that we don’t always have the answers, or to admit that our life carries with it it’s own set of challenges. It’s not easy to come to the conclusion that you can’t do it all alone…that you actually NEED someone, because the truth of the matter is that no one makes it alone. No one leaves this earth without having been helped by someone. But the sooner we shed our ego and be honest about our personal difficulties to those who care, the better off we will be. Suffering in silence is not the answer – trust me, I know first hand about how debilitating it can be. But, now, I’m finally learning how to lean on someone instead of crashing under the weight of my own grief. Emotionally, I don’t have to carry as much and, therefore, my walk through this life has become much lighter.